'What kind of times are these'
I hope you are doing okay, in times like these.
Reading corner
What kind of times are these
by Adrienne Rich
There’s a place between two stands of trees where the grass grows uphill
and the old revolutionary road breaks off into shadows
near a meeting-house abandoned by the persecuted
who disappeared into those shadows.
I’ve walked there picking mushrooms at the edge of dread, but don’t be fooled
this isn’t a Russian poem, this is not somewhere else but here,
our country moving closer to its own truth and dread,
its own ways of making people disappear.
I won’t tell you where the place is, the dark mesh of the woods
meeting the unmarked strip of light —
ghost-ridden crossroads, leafmold paradise:
I know already who wants to buy it, sell it, make it disappear.
And I won’t tell you where it is, so why do I tell you
anything? Because you still listen, because in times like these
to have you listen at all, it’s necessary
to talk about trees.
Healing notes
I was re reading one of my favourite books on meaning and repair, Stitches by Anne Lamott. Only it is about so much more than that. Like all books I treasure, I discover new memories wrapped within them when I reread.
To heal, it seems we have to stand in the middle of the horror, at the foot of the cross, and wait out another’s suffering where that person can see us.
I marked these lines in my e-reader. Such beautiful, simple lines. Yet, it has one of the most deep and difficult readings. For me, the lines came at a time when I am sad and miss my dog, my love, very much. It reminded me of the horrors we stand in the middle of. I cannot always feel like I am pulling myself through the daily grind; the murkiness, the exhaustion cover the cheer of progress and change. Sometimes it feels like I am barely alive. Then, by some great luck, I am witnessing someone else; being there for them. And I see more clearly the healing process. Theirs and mine. We do come out the other side. A bit bruised by having learnt more about ourselves.
The bad news is that after the suffering, we wait at the empty tomb for a while, the body of our beloved gone, grieving an unsurvivable loss.
It’s a terrible system. But the good news is that then there is new life. Wildflowers bloom again… They’re both such surprises. Wildflowers stop you in your hiking tracks. You want to savour the colours and scents, let them breathe you in, let yourself be amazed. And bulbs that grow in the cold rocky dirt remind us that no one is lost.
'Let yourself be amazed', Anne Lamott says. I think it is time to witness myself and be amazed. Will you do it also?
Food experiments
I experimented with a lot of food last weekend and proceeded to eat all of it by myself. He! he! So you only have my word for how yummy it was and of course, pictures. But we all know pictures don't tell the full tale. I was of course craving a pizza and some junk last weekend. Best way to get me out of a funk. However, my tummy still reacting badly to gluten meant I needed to make it at home! After multiple tries, I am sorry cauli pizza just doesn't work for me. So, I ended up with this pizza-bake thingie which I assure you was delicious. This is the recipe I attempted to use.
Pizza-bake with veggies
2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon instant or active dry yeast 2 cups gluten-free baking flour (I used a mix of Millet flour and ragi
1/3 coconut flour 3 tablespoons of flaxseeds 1 tablespoon of salt 1½ teaspoons baking powder ¼ cup olive oil, plus more for pans 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar
Lots of veggies of your choice
Cheese
So I learnt how to activate your yeast through this recipe (mind is blown by the beauty of cooking).
Add the sugar and yeast to warm water and let it foam. The room definitely smells like bread if your yeast is working. (Thankfully mine was.) Set aside.
Next, mix the flours, flaxseeds, salt, baking powder together. Then add the oil, yeast mixture and apple cider vinegar.
My consistency didn't sound anything like any of the recipes. *shrug* I was afraid I had just made a giant bowl of batter which was going to not taste good.
I set it aside for one and a half hours. Then, I pressed the batter and found it slightly fluffy.
I oiled a vessel I was using. Spread the batter as thinly as possible and baked for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, I cut all the veggies I was going to use - Mushrooms, zucchini, tomato, spring onion and garlic. After 20 minutes, I pulled the vessel out and coated the bottom with a thin layer of tomato sauce (used packaged) and then added all the veggies on top. I made a mixture of olive oil (very little like a sauce) and spices and poured it onto the veggies. Once done, I grated cheese on top of the veggies. I used hard cheese.
Finally put the entire thing into the oven for 15 more minutes.
If at any point the crust feels uncooked to you, do rebake it. Mine cooked through and through.
As you can see from the second photo, I was a bit generous with the veggies. A filling and delicious meal! Hope you will try it :)
Dear you,
Thank you for being here. I hope your week ahead is full of gentleness and kindness. We all need more of both.
Until next time, have a good one.
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke