'We entangle ourselves in knots of our own making'
Rest on the long road. <3
(Picture courtesy PJ)
Reading corner
Two poems from Rainer Maria Rilke's Book of Hours
translated by Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows
II, 15
Each thing -
each stone, blossom, child -
is held in place.
Only we, in our arrogance,
push out beyond what we each belong to
for some empty freedom.
If we surrendered
to earth's intelligence
we could rise up rooted, like trees.
Instead we entangle ourselves
in knots of our own making
and struggle, lonely and confused.
So, like children, we begin again
to learn from things
II, 16
This is what the things can teach us;
to fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.
Healing notes
I have been a ball of anxiety for weeks now. Doing stuff on my mat (not sure what to call that art form :D), meditating, baking, reading, cooking - basically maintaining a routine - has helped me feel as human as I can during this. I have read articles on the internet about the 'good' things you need to do to help yourself during an anxious phase (s), and in the past I would try them in moments of 'crisis' and would come out angry and defeated. This time around, those 'good' things were already part of my routine. So having them in my day was important to me and thus helping, in some way? I just kept doing them and hoping my anxiety would slowly ease away. Ah well, anxiety old friend. Is that how you work? We will slowly find a way. For now, we are communicating again, even as I try to stick to my routine and do the things that bring me joy. I hope we are able to find truce somehow cause I am a bit tired now; else we keep trying eh? I hear that this is part of healing.
Food experiments
There are beautiful brownies in the world. Actually there was anxiety, panic and some parts of them were burnt brownies. But on second thought, they actually taste-pretty-great brownies. The bowl I used was too big and the batter became a bit too thin. So the corners weren't the best tasting. However, I gave some to two people today who ate them so happily that I think this is a success. While researching brownie recipes and messaging a friend who is on keto, I realised making this recipe keto was super easy. Just swap the flour to almond flour and the oil to coconut oil (which was psst, the original recipe).
Too-chocolatey Brownie
1/3 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup coconut sugar
1/2 cup olive oil
¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon rum/ skip
¼ teaspoon salt
3 eggs
½ cup buckwheat flour
¾ cup walnuts
Mix the peanut butter, coconut sugar and oil and make a smooth mixture. Add the cocoa powder to it.
Beat the eggs separately and add them to the mixture. Add the flour, salt and rum. Finally top with walnuts.
Grease a dish and pre heat your oven to 180 degrees. It took me just under 20 minutes. I would definitely check it around 15 minutes once.
Since I was a little nervous about the taste, I made my now go-to frosting/ganache with dark chocolate (Amul) and coconut milk (Dabur?). I usually mix about six pieces with a little less than 1/4 cup coconut milk and it becomes beautifully dark.
Happy baking! :-)
Dear you,
I hope this monsoon you are listening to some phenomenal music. I realised there
is some beautiful stuff out there, yet I listen to one song on repeat. Happy listening. <3 Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke