'These words to you and me are different worlds inhabited by strange suns.'
Reading corner
In Between
by Janice Pariat
They cannot mean the same,
these words, to you or me.
It is a trickery of knaves
and kings, a hand of aces.
A slippery-slide of unending
falling, clawing at smoothness.
These words you take and shape
within your own heart, filled
with secret images, a lonesome
mine-field you return from,
scarred. The torment is yours
alone; who am I to understand
what is love to your ear –
the crevice it fits into, the blank
piece of serrated puzzle.
These words to you and me
are different worlds inhabited
by strange suns. The shadows
long, unrecognisable – illuminated
by varying light.
Impossible to meet, really,
in-between is space for a pane
of glass, a slip of a snowflake.
It is enough to be a universe
of separates. Apart.
[Source: http://poetry.sangamhouse.org/2013/12/in-between-by-janice-pariat/]
Healing notes
Have you ever felt like your thoughts are constantly moving from one list to another? An endless loop of things to do, things to make and people to talk to.
Have you ever felt like your brain deserves a night's rest and a morning without anxious thoughts consuming it? A circle of ifs, maybes, is it possible, and eternal suspicion.
I have been wondering about this.
I have been trying to mull over this.
Last week, I went to therapy after a bit of break. My therapist and I both busy and mixed schedules, we had somehow dropped the ball. Finally, the morning of my session, I felt a bit calmer than usual. I made detailed notes about what I would like to discuss with her; what I have been feeling, thinking and mulling over. She listened to me patiently and finally asked, what does mental rest look like to you?
I admit, I was zapped. Such an easy (?) question. Yet, I felt I had no answer. It's been a week of thinking about it and possibly have a vague answer. So, I asked on Instagram what it means to others. Several answers came ranging from not worrying about to-do lists, listening to music, colouring, embroidery, a day of not extending oneself, to not knowing what it looks like. We all inhabit such different worlds of calm and rest.
On the face of it, I don't know what it looks like for me. I have endless things on my to-do list. I worry about health and more. I care a lot about my friends and loved ones. But I have come to believe it looks like stillness for me. Momentary it maybe, but stillness. A way of accepting the now in its chaos and not being shaken by it. I think I have these moments briefly. But it feels to me like catching a firefly of late.
Some times it is hard to ensure I have these moments of stillness. Chaos, anxiety, pain are all stillness shakers. Slowly I guess. One day at time, I hope. Or is it one still moment at a time?
Food experiments Prawn curry Up front I must say I have never cooked prawns before. This time I really felt like eating them so I went out and bought some. Most of my cooking these days is intuitive - that is I put whatever I feel would be good together.
This curry is made up of:
- Prawns
- Mushrooms
- Capsicum
- Brocoli
- Tomato sauce
- whatever spices you have on hand
I melted garlic and herb butter (which is a new discovery and I must say its beautiful!) in a pan. Add the prawns to it and let them turn into a light shade of pink.
This takes about five minutes. Once done, add the mushrooms, the capsicum and the brocoli. Close the pan and let it cook on low flame for 5-10 minutes. Once the vegetables are cooked, add the tomato sauce and some boiling water.
Finally add spices. I added: Salt, pepper, oregano, basil and chilli flakes.
Can eat it just like this or with noodles! :)
Dear you,
Hope you have been doing well and the heat isn't too bad for you.
I have been taking rest and trying hard to find a balance between work, play and rest.
Hope you have your balance.
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke