'Sometimes from sorrow, for no reason, you sing'
I hope you sing today <3
Reading corner
Cutting loose
by William Stafford
For James Dickey
Sometimes from sorrow, for no reason,
you sing. For no reason, you accept
the way of being lost, cutting loose from
all else and electing a world
where you go where you want to.
Arbitrary, sound comes, a reminder
that a steady center is holding
all else. If you listen, that sound
will tell where it is, and you
can slide your way past trouble.
Certain twisted monsters
always bar the path—but that's when
you get going best, glad to be
lost, learning how real it is
here on the earth, again and again.
[Source: http://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2014/03/william-stafford-cutting-loose.html]
Healing notes
I have been reflecting a lot because I have a tonne of free time. It is surprising the thoughts and realisations that come to me as I think about my life. Sometimes there is fear of being lost in the world. Sometimes confusion because of the fluctuating and endless physical pain. But mostly it has been quiet agreement with the choices I make.
It is hard to choose something for myself that differs from other people's paths. To not fit into these pre-designed boxes. To resist it and continue on the path chosen for myself. I did what I do usually when I feel out of water, I turned to books. I read this fantastic piece by Sara Ahmed on Losing Confidence and it filled me with renewed hope. I wish you find some clarity in it like I did. Here is something I loved from it:
The more a worldview is supported, the less confidence you need to uphold it. There is confidence in the system. If you are trying to challenge that system you might need even more confidence than you would otherwise have needed. You face resistance and ridicule. The walls you come up against don’t even appear to others. The wall you speak of becomes a phantom wall. You have to hold on harder, be firmer in your conviction, because your conviction brings you up against a world. You then need to find others to share your confidence. This sense of confidence refers to trust, to secrets; those things we share that we do not (sometimes cannot) disclose.
Those who I have called affect aliens – those who are alienated by virtue of how they are affected – might need more confidence just to proceed. When you are less supported you have to push harder. - Sara Ahmed, Losing Confidence
For today, I hope you find the confidence you need to resist and the joys of support in building that confidence.
Food experiments
Pineapple curry
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cinnamon stick
3 cloves of garlic
1 cup coconut milk (240ml)
Salt to taste
1 pineapple cut up into tiny pieces
1 onion
Spices - Chilli powder, pepper and some turmeric
Cut up the pineapple into tiny pieces and keep aside. Cut the onion.
Pour some oil into the kadai. Put the cut up garlic into it. Add the onions to it.
Cook the onions until brown. Once browned, add the pineapple into it. Fry for a few minutes. Add the coconut milk and the masalas (chilli powder, pepper, turmeric, salt) to the kadai. Mix well and cover for about 3-5 minutes. Open and taste the pineapple. It needs to be very spicy. Add more spices and the cinnamon stick.
Once it is fully cooked eat with rice or rotis. My dinner was yum. <3
Dear you,
The city is slowly getting chill. I am wearing socks and covered all up.
I am drinking tonnes of ginger juice and water. Hope you have some warmth in your life. <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke