'Some say you're lucky'
Reading corner
Some say you're lucky
by Gregory Orr Some say you're lucky
If nothing shatters it.
But then you wouldn't
Understand poems or songs.
You'd never know
Beauty comes from loss.
It's deep inside every person:
A tear tinier
Than a pearl or thorn.
It's one of the places
Where the beloved is born.
Healing notes
I write this after a rough weekend.
Loss is something I still have trouble making peace with. It has been three years since my love has been gone. Some days it feels like yesterday I held her. Some other days it feels like so long that I cannot believe my heart managed this loss and grief. The heart is full of memories and pain at the same time. I never fail to smile when I think of her, her love and her endless bounty of care.
She is all kinds of amazing. i still laugh when I think of all the stunts she pulled. The number of times she fell asleep with her head on my ass. She is a bright ray of light in my life. The loss is hard to bear mostly cause I truly miss her. I don't think I will ever stop.
Having pets in my life has helped ease some of the pain from her loss but it still is among the hardest things for me to accept. Loss is a mess. Loss has allowed me to learn a lot about myself. Not just her loss, but loss in general. Yet, I find myself wishing for her warmth and love.
Not to Make Loss Beautiful…
by Gregory OrrNot to make loss beautiful,
But to make loss the place
Where beauty starts. Where
the heart understands
For the first time
The nature of its journey.
But I thought about this a lot and wanted to write here a fond memory of her that I hold onto on bad days. This is in ode to her but mostly as inspiration from this remarkable page.
Layla was not allowed on the couch in our living room. Yet she somehow learnt that we would never truly yell at her. She would curl onto the couch after we left and scramble down when she heard the lift sound. One day, she was too fast asleep and didn't hear us come. We opened the door to find her fast asleep on the couch where she wasn't allowed. She had a guilty look on her face. So guilty that you had to shower love on her. In this way and many others, she settled herself in our hearts and made herself comfortable.
It has been three years of life without her. But her memories of 12 years with us keep me going. Every good day and every bad day, I think of her. How i nuzzled into her for comfort. How she was comfort, healing and home. She will always be.
if you have a pet in your house, hold them for me today. Tell them you love them. For those of you who may have lost pets, I hope you find your way to the warmest memories of them today and you feel held in their love each and every day. <3
Everyone else, I hope you have love and comfort like this in your life - animal or otherwise. Cause you deserve it. Sometimes healing is finding out you are loved and seen for who you are. Layla was that for me. Now to slowly find my way to healing, being seen. By myself. For myself.
Food experiments
I love cooking for just myself. Not having to feed anyone else makes me very innovative and experimental. Last week I had mushrooms, pineapple and bacon. I thought to myself yum. Put them together.
Anddddd that is what I did.
Cook 4-5 strips of bacon in a pan. Close it and let the fat simmer. Do this for about 4-5 minutes. Once it becomes a bit crisp, add the pineapple (cut up into tiny pieces) and mushrooms. Let them all cook in the bacon fat. Close the pan and let it cook for a while. Maybe 5-10 minutes more?
Finally open the pan and add chilli flakes on top. Then add cheese of your favourite kind as a topping.
Toast bread in butter and eat eat eat!! :)
Dear you,
i have been feeling equal parts relief and pain for the past week. Relief cause some nasty symptoms have died down and pain cause well pain. Hope you have been
loving, resting, reading and enjoying <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke