'Our hopes such as they are invisible before us untouched and still possible'
Dearest reader,
Thank you for making my 2018 so much better with your silent encouragement, with your responses
and your presence in the world.
I am grateful and lucky.
Reading corner
To the new year
by W S Merwin
With what stillness at last
you appear in the valley
your first sunlight reaching down
to touch the tips of a few
high leaves that do not stir
as though they had not noticed
and did not know you at all
then the voice of a dove calls
from far away in itself
to the hush of the morning
so this is the sound of you
here and now whether or not
anyone hears it this is
where we have come with our age
our knowledge such as it is
and our hopes such as they are
invisible before us
untouched and still possible
Healing notes
2018 is over.
People often ask, so how was your year? I am not quite sure how to respond. It was a year of so much kindness and, personally and world over, so much churning. I have grown to accept that my life is not one of extremes. I often loved saying, it was terrible or it was great. I have found meaning in saying it was both terrible and great. These two co-exist. Realities of wellness and illness.
I think 2018 was my year in many ways. I was able to take hold of my healing journey, set out to do more things I care about and general joy with kittens. I was able to get lost on my healing path. I spent my time reflecting on doing better, being better. It was special. It was hopeful.
As I write this,
I am reminded of the only vacation I took all year. It was magical, special and relaxing.
I am reminded of the doctors who I visited. Some who cared and some who hurt me with their callousness.
I am reminded of all the kindness that came my way through friends, near and dear ones and animals.
I am reminded of the all consuming depression I felt.
Healing has been ongoing. It has been devastating. It is everything.
I wish I am able to become closer to my body in the coming year. I wish I am able to share love and kindness with others. I wish I spend more time in rest.
If there are three hopes you have for 2019, may they come true. May you find yourself feeling closer to you. Like I read in this article by Paromita Vohra, may you be closer to your true north. May all renewal start with you. May magic happen when you least expect it. May you always have something to be hopeful about. <3
Food experiments
My grandma told my sister she wanted to pass this recipe on to her grandchildren. I loved making it with her and my sister and I am happy to share this delicious recipe of hers with the world.
Stuffed dondakaya
250 gms dondakaya
A handful of besan
A tiny bit of maida
salt
Jeera
Turmeric
Mirchi powder
A lit oil
Cut the dondakaya along the top and across. You will have created a space to stuff it later. Ensure the vegetable is still together at the bottom so don't cut it fully. Then boil the dondakaya in water till the shade of green changes to lighter. Add a bit of salt to the water.
On the side, mix the besan, maida, jeera, salt, turmeric and mirchi powder in a lit bit of oil.
Once the dondakaya is boiled, run it through cold water and let it cool down.
After cooling down, put the mix previously made in between each dondakaya. Once done, roast it till it becomes fully cooked and a lit bit charred on top. Add more salt if needed.
Tada! I hope you enjoy it.
Dear you,
I wish you light and warmth, happiness and success, kindness and patience throughout
2019. I hope the year is everything you want it to be.
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke