'My shadow, risen from the past, glides silently towards me'
Reading corner The Return
by Anna Akhmatova
The souls of all my dears have flown to the stars.
Thank God there’s no one left for me to lose–
so I am free to cry. This air is made
for the echoing of songs.
A silver willow by the shore
trails to the bright September waters.
My shadow, risen from the past,
glides silently towards me.
Though the branches here are hung with many lyres,
a place has been reserved for mine, it seems.
And now this shower, struck by sunlight,
brings me good news, my cup of consolation.
translated by Stanley Kunitz with Max Hayward
Healing notes
I discovered Anna Akhmatova in a daze several years ago while I was cocooned in the mountains and these lines returned to me as I thought about the times we live in:
Why is this age worse than earlier ages?
In a stupor of grief and dread
have we not fingered the foulest wounds
and left them unhealed by our hands?
Is this grief I feel from the crumbling world just part of awareness or part of a growing rot in the world? None of this makes me think there isn't hope on some days but I feel weary by the repeated assertion of a certain kind of value systems. Retreating to safe places where we have hopeful conversations rebuilds me. Focussing on the ways in which people resist builds my hope.
In the year ahead, the question I would like to ask is how can we build more and more spaces for us to heal together; for us to build new possibilities together; for us to provide comfort for each other; for our wounds to heal and for transformation to find a place in our every day lives.
In moments like these, when this country takes brutal steps backward (or underground), I am reminded over and over about collective healing. How does even address this when the survival of many people is threatened? How does one focus on the small picture of everyday living as a larger dread looms over us? What steps do I take to do more than what I am doing now?
I was drawn to the feminist movement and the disability movement because of the hope of healing and finding peace; as a response to the injustice in the world. Now as injustice continues, I take solace in these worlds. But the worlds need to slowly expand and build larger safe houses for all of us. If you have any suggestions, do let me know. I am willing to learn how we can create healing within our political movements.
Food experiments
My friend K calls me a sucker for mushrooms and this is really true. I put it in a lot of things.
I just cooked the mushrooms and babycorn in salt and pepper for 15 minutes. Then I added the noodles to it. I love doing things like this as a quick fix but also as a happy fix.
I of course added cheese and would recommend some ketchup on top if you like that. :)
Please send me easy to do dessert recipes. I am excited to start making a few this week.
Dear you,
The year is ending and a part of me is excited for what is in store and another part that
is just relieved something new awaits. What are you feeling as the year ends?
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke