'It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving'
Reading Corner
From Evidence
by Mary Oliver
“...eventually tides will be the only calendar you believe in…
And someone’s face, whom you love, will be as a star
Both intimate and ultimate,
And you will be heart-shaken and respectful.
And you will hear the air itself, like a beloved, whisper
Oh let me, for a while longer, enter the two
Beautiful bodies of your lungs...
Look, and look again.
This world is not just a little thrill for your eyes.
It’s more than bones.
It’s more than the delicate wrist with its personal pulse.
It’s more than the beating of a single heart.
It’s praising.
It’s giving until the giving feels like receiving.
You have a life- just imagine that!
You have this day, and maybe another, and maybe
Still another…
And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope.
I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is.
I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned,
I have become younger.
And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?
Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world. ”
Healing notes
I have been getting these daily quarantine books from a lovely human I know off the internet. Each night around 8 pm, I get an email with a book and one poem by Mary Oliver. This daily email routine got me thinking about vulnerability. Each day in these emails, this lovely human sent us all love and vulnerability. Every email feels like a hug. Something I think I last got on March 16th (Feels like a year ago, ugh). Yet, it seems not strange at all to be connected to them through this love for books and Mary Oliver. To listen to the book, to savour every word and to heal this aching heart.
When I first began this newsletter, I put her words on the top: "And this is what I learned: that the world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness -- the beauty and mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books -- can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” (Mary Oliver, in “Staying Alive,” from Upstream)
Right now, we are all standing in the midst of othering, violence and some awful, awful things. It is hard to read stuff and not be left feeling grief. And at the same time in small pockets everywhere, I see people share a part of themselves with the world to build bonds that move beyond this hurt, this pain, this grief.
And this year is going to be hard year for so many people. It feels incredibly tough to hold space for all this ache and still have hope. Yet, as Mary Oliver says: “To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” So let's collectively pay attention.
Creative experiments My sister knows how I love quick meals on bad days and she gave me this idea which is honestly such a lovely way to eat something healthy and delicious.
So take two eggs and beat them well. Add milk, salt and pepper - or whatever spices and herbs you want. Let it rest.
On a pan cook the mushrooms, capsicum and onions till most of the water has left the veggies. Then add the veggies to the batter, oil the vessel you want to bake in and then done! Let it bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes. Eat with spoon/fork :D
Best meal of my week!
Dear you,
The past few weeks have not been great for me. But slowly getting by.
What helps you get by in difficult times? You can always write to me and I'll reply <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke