'If we can bring ourselves to meet the moment with our lives'
Are we present with moments of calm and chaos? I wish this for you.

Reading corner
The Fear of Poetry
by Muriel Rukeyser
In this moment when we face
horizons and conflicts wider
than ever before, we want our resources,
the ways of strength. We look again
to the human wish, its faiths, the means
by which the imagination leads us
to surpass ourselves.
If there is a feeling that something has been lost,
it may be because much has not yet been used,
much is still to be found and began.
Everywhere we are told
that our human resources are allto be used,
that our civilization itself
means the uses of everything it has —the inventions,
the histories, every scrap of fact.
But there is one kind of knowledge —
infinitely precious, time-resistant
more than monuments,
here to be passed between the generations
in any way it may be: never to be used.
And that is poetry.
It seems to me that we cut ourselves off,
that we impoverish ourselves, just here.
I think that we are ruling out
one source of power,
one that is precisely what we need.
Now, when it is hard to hold
for a moment
the giant clusters of event and meaning
that every day appear,
it is time to remember this other kind of knowledge and love,
which has forever been a way of reaching
complexes of emotion and relationship,
the attitude that is like the attitude of science
and the other arts today,
but with significant and beautiful distinctness from these —
the attitude that perhaps
might equip our imaginations to deal with our lives —
the attitude of poetry.
However confused
the scene of our life appears, however torn
we may be who now do face that scene,
it can be faced,
and we can go on to be whole.
If we use the resources we now have,
we and the world itself
may move in one fullness.
Moment to moment,
we can grow, if
we can bring ourselves to meet the moment
with our lives.
From The Life of Poetry (1949)

Healing notes
A while ago, therapist asked me to define comfort. She wanted me to define it before she could ask me to seek it in my life. I sat there and wondered about comfort. Only one face came to mind. I bawled. She sat across me looking concerned. Layla was comfort. Her soft snores. Her patience when I smothered her. Her calm presence on the bed on bad days. Her all knowing nudge. Her breathing. Her non-judgmental love. The amount she trusted me.
I asked foolishly, when will it get better? She said, what is better? It will always hurt cause how can it possibly not. She was comfort. She was everything good about the world.
She wanted me to assimilate everything she was for me, within my own being. I stared at her in disbelief. "You mean, trust myself like she trusted me?" A head nod followed. "Be your own comfort."
Despite all my efforts, I still struggled with this. I was and am unable to assimilate comfort within me. I struggled to make my body, my mind and my heart a safe space for me.
What does a safe space look like? One where I ask myself questions with honesty and care.
What does my safe space provide me? A place to fall apart and put myself back together bit by bit.
How do I go about creating this space, within me, for me? I don't know.
Are these thoughts that you think about as well? Have you made progress? I am all ears.

Food experiments
I baked this cake for someone else. The only requirement they had was that it be eggless. It was for a young boy of 5 years and I thought this would make it festive!
So this cake is full of gluten, no milk, no eggs and the secret ingredient is banana!
Banana chocolate cake
1 and 1/4 cup Wheat flour
2 bananas
1/4 cup Cocoa powder
3/4 cup Sugar
1/3 cup Oil (I used olive oil)
1/3 cup Milk of any kind (I used coconut milk)
1 tsp Baking soda
vinegar 2 tablespoons
1/4 cup chocolate chips
Mash the two bananas and add cocoa powder, wheat flour, sugar and mix. Add the baking soda and chocolate chips.
Finally mix the wet ingredients - Milk, oil and vinegar. If you find it not liquidy enough, add a bit more milk.
Bake in the pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for about 30 minutes. Check if it needs more heat.
And add pecans on top or chocolate chips if you like! TADA!
Dear you,
I wish you strength as the year quickly flies by. Hope you are spending time
with yourself, for yourself. <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke