'I cannot think in future tense'
Have a wonderful week ahead, lovelies <3
Reading corner
Sometimes, When Prayers are Shouted from Rooftops, the Echoes are the Answers
by Aditi Rao
1.
Yesterday, I ran through a park, high-fiving strangers
in costume. We reassured each other that people
who stared were jealous. We enjoyed each other.
But tonight, the midnight pianist who lives upstairs is silent,
and my roommate has been asleep for hours. Even the mice
have tired of their games. I would put myself to bed,
promise these words their turn tomorrow, but ever since
my friend's sickness swallowed her speech, I cannot think
in future tense. I cannot speak, except like this.
2.
Do you remember the first slipper the sea sucked
off an unsuspecting beach – the blue disappearance?
Do you remember how secure the sand felt before?
Do you remember shoulders unhindered
by favourite ghosts, twilights when eyelids sealed
without glue? Do you remember waking up
in untrembling rooms, those sure steps we took? Remember
when the clock's swollen hands pushed time forward? Before
the ice in our chests, the goldfish that swam there?
Healing notes
I have extended myself a lot this past year. I mean doing more than I can or should. I end up then sleeping exhaustedly for many many days. It is not a pretty cycle. Recently, I found myself feeling that exhaustion again and it was a strange feeling. I was lying in bed after a session of my treatment and I thought to myself this exhaustion is almost permanent these days. I pulled my sheets over me and continued to read till I fell asleep.
I drifted awake every once in a while like I always do. When I finally woke up and took stock of my time spent every day, I realised I was doing more than I could take again. I might not be "at work" but my mind is constantly "working". This led me to turn to meditating more than I did in a hope to calm my mind. I took up my colours and begin to colour, draw and write. I felt a bit relieved in a few days.
My cup (because of illness and wellness and life) tends to be full pretty easily. I needed to balance it out with the things I cared about and that grounded me. Reminding my body to calm the flight and fight instinct. It is an everyday practise, I realise. An everyday nurturing of myself.
Do you feel this way sometimes, like your body and mind are so exhausted but you haven't really done much? Do write in as always.
Food experiments
Last week, my sister and I baked with my niece and her friend. It was an amazing three hours and baking. I discovered that like the kids I love good icing! I ate too much and had sugar rush, then sugar crash. All like children. :)
Vanilla cupcakes
1/2 cup soft butter
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar
2 eggs
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 to 3 tablespoons milk
Keep everything out of the fridge to get to room temperature as this makes a difference I am told.
Put all the ingredients into a large bowl and whisk until smooth.
Oil the container if you are using the muffin tin directly and pre-heat oven to 180 degrees.
Pour the batter into the tray and bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes. It should be slightly golden on top. Let them cool after.
You can add icing or eat them just like that!
Dear you,
It is always such a great feeling to hear from you. I am eternally grateful for your messages and warmth.
They make my week :) Thank you <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke