'Failing and flying'
Fail, fail, fail and then fly <3
I hope you find it in you to try again :)
Reading corner Failing and Flying by Jack Gilbert
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It's the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
burning so extravagantly those nights that
anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed
like a visitation, the gentleness in her
like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back
through the hot stony field after swimming,
the sea light behind her and the huge sky
on the other side of that. Listened to her
while we ate lunch. How can they say
the marriage failed? Like the people who
came back from Provence (when it was Provence)
and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,
but just coming to the end of his triumph.
Healing notes
I began reading and cooking again last week. It was after a huge break and difficulty doing both. The book I randomly discovered while going through the e store for poetry books was The Poetry Pharmacy. It has these tiny healing ideas, filled with thought and kindness and a poem. Utterly magnificent.
I have been taking medication for close to two years now and the pharmacist is my friend. He knows to give me my medicine without much drama now. But poetry as medicine is something I have felt for ages. It is one of the most calming things I have in my life. Earlier, I would write poetry, too. To find the calm. Then I went down the slippery slope of "am I doing this correctly?" A part of me feels there is no one way to do healing. So if writing poetry (whether good or bad) was healing, then I should continue to do so. Yet, I couldn't. I was my harshest critic on this path of healing, judging myself every step of the way.
This is how I began cooking too. "Does it taste delicious?" I would ask. Focussing on the end product and not the process. Learning to unlearn my wiring of the way the world and in turn I should respond is not easy. Finding myself enjoying the cutting part of cooking, the drafts part of writing, the bad poetry part of reading has helped immensely in stepping away from results, leaning into my journey of making and witnessing others' journey of making.
Food experiments
From struggling to cook a couple of weeks ago, I have been cooking up a storm these past few days. When my anxiety or mood takes a toll on me, cutting up vegetables or baking is the most soothing response I can have.
This is the simplest thing I have made but was so delicious. Complementing flavours was really nice and left the plate of food tangy.
Baked vegetables
One yellow capsicum
One box of mushrooms (about 8-9 mushrooms)
A bunch of spring onions
Two potatoes
One zucchini
One spoon of vinegar
Some jalapenos
Whatever cheesy toppings you might have
Feta cheese
Spices:
Oregano
Salt
Pepper
Cut up the potatoes. Put olive oil in a vessel. Add cut up potatoes to it. Put in the oven at 200 degrees for 10 mins.
Meanwhile cut up the remaining veggies. Add the vinegar, a bit more olive oil and jalapenos.
Add oregano, salt and pepper.
Top up with cheese toppings and feta cheese. Mix well and then put in oven for about 30 minutes.
I ate it with toast with a bit of cut up garlic on top which of course I put in the oven for 5 minutes. Amazing toast! I hope you enjoy it as well if you make it :)
Dear you,
It has been a tough few weeks for everyone around the world. I hope you have a warm drink (or cold) of choice near you this morning. <3
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke