'Don’t ask the mountain to move, just take a pebble each time you visit'
Reading corner
by John Paul Lederach
A few that were, for me, things that I’ve picked up in places I’ve been that just give a flavor. I’ve worked on occasion with a group of people from Burma — inside, from the ethnic minority groups. They call them ethnic minorities even though they’re the majority. That means they’re not Burmese. And many of them have armed fronts that have been fighting, some of them for decades and decades, against the current regime. I worked primarily with a small group of people who for one reason or another were brought into being shuttle mediators, attempting to open up, discuss, or move some kind of a negotiation on between people in the Burmese government and various of the armed ethnic groups. There were small sets of people who had these experiences from each of the seven or eight ethnic groups. And in 2003, I spent the better part of a week simply listening to their stories. They were, from a mediator’s standpoint, some of the hardest stories that I’ve ever heard.
I can remember one group who lived very close to the Bangladesh border with Burma who needed to carry a message across the border to the commander of an armed movement that was just on the other side, but they could not pass directly through the border to that area. They needed to travel all the way to the capital city of Yangon, get a passport, and every passport has to be turned in after each visit. So it’s a one-time passport. Then fly to a third country in order to convey one message. And then all the way back again to bring it forward, many times sitting with local commanders or groups who would arrest them and keep them imprisoned for weeks on end until they sorted through whether they were legitimate.
The perspective that you have in these situations is so unbelievable about the kind of difficulties that they’re facing. And the group that I was meeting with used a kind of an informal name. They referred to themselves as “The Mediators Fellowship.” And so I wrote a little haiku when I was leaving Yangon, and this is in March of 2003. It was titled “Advice from the Mediators Fellowship.”
Burma Border People
Don’t ask the mountain
to move, just take a pebble
each time you visit.
---
Tajikistan. This was translated back from Tajikian to English, and the way that it rang in the translation, I played with it a little bit and it came out almost as a perfect haiku. They have very odd borders in Central Asia that were created by Stalin that have separated small portions of each major group so that every country has a minority of every other country’s majority. And some of the most significant cultural cities of one group are located in a country where they don’t live. So this was the haiku that came out. This one was in April 2003.
Tajikistan
Gods and men love maps
they draw borders with pens that
split lives like an ax.
[Source: The art of peace]
[More beautiful haikus by John Paul Lederach can be found here]
Healing notes
I have spent many many hours wondering if I should even write this newsletter anymore. That's the power of anxiety. It makes everything we do - feel useless and unimportant. I am not sure this newsletter is important to anyone, but it has been so so important to me. I wanted to share a small insight I had recently with you.
I always thought of myself as someone who loved routines, patterns. One of the reasons that freelancing was so hard for me was the complete lack of a routine. Eventually this got better. Part of my daily routine I have built in time for myself; time to look after my body and time to spend with people I care about. This of course has changed so much.
The past week my routine took a major hit. Mostly due to massive panic attacks, unnecessary arguments, and some regular concerns like work (haha!). I am entirely not sure why this change but I spent more than two nights not going to bed early and waking up in a knotted state. This has resulted in a week long exhaustion and disorientation. Like I felt catatonic and only able to do lie down in a stupor. I woke up from every nap feeling like days had passed and I had no idea what had happened.
Everytime this happens to me, I usually just work on caring really hard and things ease up. But this time, I just put back my routine of love and care for my body and mind and I felt a massive shift in my energy and anxiety. (However, life was life and now anxiety is back but that's another post for another day)
I began to think how little attention I had been paying to the small things (or are they actually huge?). The sleeping in my own bed. Sleeping with my heavy sheet. Having cats snuggle into me. The dull lights in my room. Having all kinds of tea accessible to me. Drinking tea in my mug. Never going to bed without four hot water packs by my side. This basically meant that each time this routine shifted, I needed to rebuild it back with care and attention.
These small acts of care have been helping ease the stress on my body and mind; allowing me to do stuff I enjoy more.
I travel tonnes for work and this means often being away from the web of care catering to my needs. My friend Anna once told me, she couldn't believe how her world was built around her in her home but each time she left, this shook a bit and she craved to return to that care web. I don't know when was the first time I felt this emotion of care towards a home and towards my body-mind. Today, as I sit to write this, I am reminded of Anna's words and reflecting on how much I depend on my everyday holding space for self routines.
Do you relate to any of this? I would be happy to hear from you <3
Food experiments
Discovery of the century is that I've never made dal with black gram before. Guess we never really made it in our house.
I of course chopped up two onions and three tomatoes and fried them for a while. Like 5-10 minutes. I added ginger garlic paste, chilli powder, salt and turmeric. After this, I added one cup of black gram with 4 cups of water. Closed the pressure cooker and let it cook for nearly 5 whistles.
Topped it up with my chopped coriander and ate it just like that. Healthiest meal I've eaten in a long while!
Dear you,
I almost never post about work here but I made a video on my care box for
a space that we are building. Do watch and let me know what you think?
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke