'beings from the muted world who want little from the night'
May there be trees in your vicinity today. <3
Reading corner
The life of trees
by Dorianne Laux
The pines rub their great noise
into the spangled dark, scratch
their itchy boughs against the house,
that moan’s mystery translates roughly into drudgery of ownership: time to drag the ladder from the shed, climb onto the roof with a saw
between my teeth, cut
those suckers down. What's reality
if not a long exhaustive cringe
from the blade, the teeth. I want to sleep
and dream the life of trees, beings
from the muted world who care
nothing for Money, Politics, Power,
Will or Right, who want little from the night
but a few dead stars going dim, a white owl
lifting from their limbs, who want only
to sink their roots into the wet ground
and terrify the worms or shake
their bleary heads like fashion models
or old hippies. If trees could speak,
they wouldn't, only hum some low
green note, roll their pinecones
down the empty streets and blame it,
with a shrug, on the cold wind.
During the day they sleep inside
their furry bark, clouds shredding
like ancient lace above their crowns.
Sun. Rain. Snow. Wind. They fear
nothing but the Hurricane, and Fire,
that whipped bully who rises up
and becomes his own dead father.
In the storms the young ones
bend and bend and the old know
they may not make it, go down
with the power lines sparking,
broken at the trunk. They fling
their branches, forked sacrifice
to the beaten earth. They do not pray.
If they make a sound it's eaten
by the wind. And though the stars
return they do not offer thanks, only
ooze a sticky sap from their roundish
concentric wounds, clap the water
from their needles, straighten their spines
and breathe, and breathe again.
Healing notes
My therapist and I had a very interesting conversation recently. She asked me about my move to Hyderabad, about preparing for the easy transition of the cats. This is true. I had prepared a lot. I made sure I had everything they needed. I had a care kit ready, a list of everything they would possible need. I had not taken the same care with myself though.
A few years ago, I remember I made myself a safety kit. I created a box full of things I could do when I had panic attacks. The box had all that I needed from books to do art work, to journal, to colour and even origami paper. It was my emergency kit, a first aid kit if I may call it so. This kit has stayed with me for the years after I stopped having frequent panic attacks. However, I had over these years also learnt that frequently looking after myself helps reduce frequency of panic attacks, creates better mental health for me in general.
But as I was shifting houses, I had forgotten how much care I needed. This is despite my therapist bringing it up a lot. She even told me, 'I know everyone needs care but you can only give it when you have it for yourself.'
But giving care aside, I need care to reduce the frequency of panic attacks I face, to have better mental health on whole. I have been tracking this week all the things that account for self care for me and I am reminded of Make Daisy Chains, Hannah Daisy, who started a hashtag on Instagram called #BoringSelfCare. She wanted to talk about the everyday tasks like eating meds on time, taking a walk, watering plants. These could all be part of self care, and I do agree.
How do you see your self care practises? Would you like to share?
Food experiments
I don't have an oven anymore so I have been cooking it up in the kitchen. It has been fun! If you have any favourite recipes, then send them my way, I would love to try. I got this recipe after chatting with my mom about my favourite way to eat brinjal!
Stuffed brinjal
250 gms brinjal
One onion
Way too much coriander (I love it)
Molagapodi (I got my mom's home made one but it is available in stores)
A pre mixed mixture of chicken sukka powder (made from coriander, mirchi podwer, salt, jeera etc)
Oil
Wash the brinjals and slit them into fours without breaking them.
Mix molagapodi and the chicken sukka podi with oil. If you don't want to buy two podis, then mix the molagapodi with mirchi powder, salt and oil.
Apply this mixture into the slits of the brinjals. Keep aside for a while.
Cut the onion and fry in medium heat in the oil. You can add jeera and garlic. One the onion turns brown, add the brinjals.
Mix properly and then cover. Put on low sim and allow to cook.
Serve with roti or rice.
Dear you,
I am reading and reading right now. It is a good feeling. <3 Have you been reading?
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke