'All our songs and made-up stories'
Reading corner Makebelieve
by Pádraig Ó Tuama
And on the first day
god made
something up.
Then everything came along:
seconds, sex and
beasts and breaths and rabies;
hunger, healing,
lust and lust’s rejections;
swarming things that swarm
inside the dirt;
girth and grind
and grit and shit and all shit’s functions;
rings inside the treetrunk
and branches broken by the snow;
pigs’ hearts and stars,
mystery, suspense and stingrays;
insects, blood
and interests and death;
eventually, us,
with all our viruses, laments and curiosities;
all our songs and made-up stories;
and our songs about the stories we’ve forgotten;
and all that we’ve forgotten we’ve forgotten;
and to hold it all together god made time
and those rhyming seasons
that display decay.
[ You can hear Padraig recite this poem here ]
Healing notes
There are so many new lessons I am learning from my therapy sessions. I almost said from my therapist - but she has been challenging this idea of mine consistently. In my last session, I had a huge breakthrough. We were talking about the power of the trauma network created in my mind and body. The clenching of fists during nightmares; jaw clenching when anxiety kicks in; neck tightening when discussing difficult events (I love how my therapist says difficult events and not bad. HUGE difference.)
Of course, my brain also has a network of wonderful, generous memories. Memories that don’t always come forward in times of distress. She called it a muscle for me to exercise and strengthen. We spent an entire session sitting with moments of joy and care in my life. The gratitude exercise to therapy is not new for me. I have done it a lot. But combined with the tactile touch based reinforcements, taking time to notice my relaxed body and the shifts in it was remarkable. Tapping myself felt like I was saying: You are doing good child. You are doing good. This is a rare acceptance for me and my body.
The relaxation spread through my body and I realised my body holds so much wisdom. Knows what is safe, what is not and how to be there for me. Five deep breaths later I was left feeling that the answers lie within me.
That is an unbelievable wonderful resource to have. Here is to building resources within me; remapping the patterns in my brain to wellness and richness without demonising the trauma.
Food experiments
I put a lot of strange things in my pasta. It is true. From bacon to mushroom to corn to paneer. I don't know. Cooking for me is sometimes emptying all the veggies. *shrug*
This spicy masterpiece has potato, brinjal and capsicum! Start with the potato and let it cook for long because you know potato. Then cook the brinjal and capsicum.
Puree the tomato and add to the cooking veggies. Meanwhile cook the pasta on the side.
Add all together. Add the spices you want. You know, I added salt, pepper, chilli flakes etc. And eat. Don't take my exhausted word for its yumminess. :D <3
Dear you,
I wrote a piece really close to my heart about care, wellness and healing. You can read it on
Kaha Mind or here. Tell me what you think?
Love, kindness and warmth,
Nidsitis
'I’ve been circling for thousands of years and I still don’t know: Am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?' - Rainer Maria Rilke